Since You’ve Been Gone
by zachcthompson3
Summary: Rachel and Quinn haven’t seen each other for months after their first “encounter”. Feelings remain for both but neither wants to make the first move until finally fate seemingly brings them together. Told in the 2nd Person, switches between perspectives of Rachel and Quinn. Finberry Fanfic. M for language and possible lemon.
1. Missing You

Hi everyone! This is my first fanfic writing soo... yeah! Keep that in mind and let me know what y'all think!

"Hey Rachel, what ever happened to Quinn Febray?", you hear Kurt say from next to you at the bar. You aimlessly spin the olive in your martini, until this comment shakes you from a near catatonic state. Working long hours has taken it's toll on you, what with 6 evening performances and 2 matinees a week, not including press events, and recording the cast album. You're playing Maria in a revival cast of West Side Story, a role you've played once before nearly 5 years ago in McKinley High. While highly stressful, you love the light of Broadway and the stardom you always knew you'd achieve.

"I don't know, it's been so long since I've seen her," you lie, "I'm sure she's doing well for herself, though. She's..." You cut yourself off, not wanting to say too much. You down a healthy amount of your martini to wash down the guilt of lying to your best friend. While Kurt may understand your situation, he tells everything to Blaine, who talks to Mercedes who talks to Santana who's with Brittany and eventually everyone knows. It's best that you lie. For everyone's sake. "...hey Miss Mysterious! She's what?! Cold? Ruthless? Detached?", Kurt baits your reply. You clench your teeth at the harsh tone and force a laugh. "Yeah... yeah something like that..."

"Rachel, what's the matter with you? All of a sudden you seem very down", Kurt's voice is laced with concern and you can't help but wince with guilt.

"Nothing, it's probably just one too many martinis." You laugh and smile like you know you should.

"Alright, well I think it's about time for us to head home there, chicka." Kurt offers his arm as he stands up from the bar. You hesitate, wanting to be alone.

"Uhm... I think I'm actually going to go for a walk." You watch as his face drops.

"Ah... I understand. Well if you need me, just call. Come home soon, promise?" You promise and watch him leave. You pay your tab and throw on your coat. You think about the last time you saw Quinn Febray as you step out into the cold, drifting into the memory as you walk towards Central Park...


	2. She Used To Be Mine

~Flashback 8 months~

"Her hair smells like lilac...", you silently think to yourself as you hold her head against your chest. Even sleeping she seems so... angelic. She's the best gift brought into your life over the past year, including being accepted to play Maria. You've been dating steadily for about 7 months now and things are... in a word great. However, they are also very "closed". By all appearances in public you're just very close friends. Not even your families know. Quinn has always been very concerned about her conservative mother's opinion if she knew the two of you were together. She promises you that she'll tell her mother eventually, when the right time comes. However, that time has not come yet.

She stirs softly... eventually looking up at you, causing you to beam from ear to ear. "Hey you..." she drawls in her effortlessly beautiful voice. You sigh, "Good Morning, beautiful." She scrunches her nose in that cute way she does when she isn't accepting a compliment and rolls her eyes. "As if, I'm such a mess." You take her head in between your hand and kiss her softly on her forehead. "I'm serious. You are a beauty beyond comprehension, Q." She happily accepts your kiss and hums. "Mmm... okay Rach." She then looks over your shoulder at the alarm clock and gasp. "Rachel why didn't you wake me up?? Our reunion is in two hours!!" You turn in disbelief and realize your mistake. "Shit! Okay okay... we can do this we just have to hurry." You both practically prance out of bed and she gracefully wraps herself in her bathrobe. Meanwhile you stub your toe on the corner of the bedframe (resulting in a VERY unladylike "FUCK!") and limp to grab your own. Quinn turns to see if you're okay and can't help but stifle a slight chuckle. "You okay there, Bambi?" (Her nickname thanks to your oh-so-graceful self.) "Oh, screw you and your ballerina feet." You poke back, laughing with her at yourself.

Once in the bathroom, Quinn looks at you suggestively. "You know..." she drolls, looking at you, purely seductive. "We may not have time for BOTH of us to take a shower... and our water bill has been rather high...perhaps we should save some time and water?" She winks at you, causing your heart to melt and your more... primal emotions to stir like crazy. "And how exactly would we do that?", you reply innocently eyeing her, attempting to drink in the mere sight of the ever so tasty Quinn Febray. She raises an eyebrow at you and slowly begins to untie her bathrobe. "Well... what I was thinking was that you and I could... well. Maybe work something out..."

Her robe drops to the floor and you can't help but feel your eyes widen and your mouth start watering. You look her down from head to toe, taking in everything. Her sultry gaze, the wetness of her lips, the way her messy morning hair cascades down her shoulders, her perky breasts and shapely hips, her beautiful shaven pussy, the curves of her thighs, everything was just... perfect. You manage to stutter out a helpless "Uhhhuh?" She smirks at how helpless she makes you after all this time and nods. "Yeah. I was thinking that we... RACE FOR IT!" Out of nowhere the woman you love more than anything shoves you out of the way, pulls back the shower curtain and turns on the water. She sticks her head out from behind the curtain to stick her tongue out at you boastfully. "HEY!! That is TOTALLY unfairrrr...", you groan at her. "You KNOW I can't maintain myself when you're teasing meee..." She laughs heartily at your despair and pulls back the curtain. "Get in, dork." You laugh with her, strip off your robe (earning quite the gaze from Quinn) and join her.

"You know we don't have time to fool around before this reunion, right?", you say, practically kicking yourself for having to be the one to say so. She pouts her lip at you, teasing your breasts with the soap "I know buttt..." You moan softly, "Mmmm Quinnn nooo... I want you so bad but we have to wait okay?" She pours at you more but nods. "Fiinneee." She smiles, kisses you, and you both wash up quickly to get ready.

After doing your makeup and deciding what to wear, (you opted for a burgundy sweater dress, a pair of black leggings and burgundy wedges), you patiently wait for Quinn by the front door. You check your watch - 25 minutes. At this point, you barely have enough time to get there before you're late. "Quinn! Come on we really have to leave!!" Your impatience grows as she calls, "Coming now!" Quinn emerges from your bedroom wearing a white sundress with yellow flowers over it, a baby blue bow holding her long hair back, and white sandals. "W-wow.. you look... amazing..." Quinn blushes at your sincere compliment and says, "Thank you Rach... you also look simply stunning." She smiles and walks over to you, taking your head in her hands and pressing her lips against yours gently, melting you with another of her kisses. "Ready to go?", she whispers into your ear as she holds you. "Yeah", you sigh. "Let's get going!" You head out the door and once more put on the facade of being platonic friends. All for her. And you couldn't be happier.

You both love spending time with your friends. Noah, Kurt and Blaine, Brittany and Santana, Mercedes, Tina, Mike, and Artie. There's just... one friend you always dread seeing during these reunions. Finn. You had gotten over him long ago, back before you even graduated, but... these past few years have turned towards the worse for him. He's been going to school out of state, and according to Noah, who's attending the same school, hasn't had any girlfriends in a long time and kind of just sulks to himself and drinks his own sorrow away. Apparently, he's managed to keep his grades up though which is good. But reunions are always hard. He always shows up with a buzz and embarrasses himself and... well most of the time you. This is the first reunion you and Quinn are going to together, despite the fact that your friends don't know... and you're hoping Finn for whatever reason doesn't show up. Of course as you both pull up to the school, you see him chatting with Noah in the parking lot and silently curse yourself for not preparing for the worse. Quinn notices the worry on your face, and risks putting her hand on yours to comfort you. "It'll be okay. I promise you. Okay?" You look into her beautiful hazel eyes. You immediately feel the tension leave your shoulders and smile, "Okay...", you practically sigh at her. You exit the car and decide that it's going to be a good night with your friends.

You have to fight the urge to grasp Quinn's hand as Finn sees you and walks towards you both. "Hey Rach..", he stares into your eyes longingly, as if looking for a shred of the past. You attempt to show nothing more than civility. "Hello Fin, how have you been?" He immediately pulls you into a tight hug, much to your and Quinn's surprise. You mouth the words "Help me..." at Quinn as Finn mutters how much he's missed you. Quinn clears her throat and Finn pulls away. "She's taken." Quinn's voice is barely a whisper. Your eyes widen in shock. Is she finally ready to tell your friends? "What?!", Finn asks, defensive as if you were his. You look at him indignantly. Quinn's reply is much more confident, "She's with one of the boys from her show. Josh. Wasn't that his name, Rach?" You feel your heart drop at her lie. Apparently she wasn't ready yet. "Y-Yeah... yeah. Josh is my boyfriend." You force a smile. Noah appears out of nowhere and teases, "You guys do it yet or what?" You laugh at his joke and pull him into a friendly hug. "I've missed you Rachel how have you been?" "I've been really good," you reply, thankful for the distraction from your disappointment. "I actually just got a part in West Side Story on Broadway!" He smiles as Finn mutters a half-hearted hello to Quinn, who just glares at him, likely jealous. Noah replies, "I read about that, congrats big shot! Come on, let's head inside and make sure everyone's heard." He grabs your hand and practically drags you inside with his enthusiasm, as Quinn laughs at you both and waves you along. You smirk back at her.

After exchanging pleasantries with everyone, you're all seated in a big circle in the choir room, drinking and sharing stories about your current lives. Everyone has changed so much since high school. Kurt is beginning his own fashion line through Bloomingdales, Blaine is traveling with his acapella jazz group, Santana and Brittany are married and co-own a bakery out of Los Angeles, Mercedes is releasing her second soul album in a month, Artie is a software developer for Google, and is participating in many studies regarding paraplegic people and robotic prosthetics, and Noah and Finn are both playing College Football in Georgia, with Noah studying human psychology and Finn studying music therapy. Quinn is almost through her undergraduate studies on her way to becoming a college professor, which of course you already knew. God, the thought of Quinn getting ready for work in the morning with a tight blouse and a pencil skirt, kissing you goodbye... anyways. It was your turn, so you told everyone about your part in West Side Story but the "big surprise" just felt... lackluster, most of them already knew anyways. There was something you really wanted to tell them... but you couldn't. You know she wasn't ready. She's made that very obvious. But maybe... "Tell them about your boy toy, Rach!" Quinn blurts out. Now maybe it was the alcohol in your system or the fact that you were lost in thought but you instinctively reply with, "What?! I don't have a... oh I mean... uhm... shit." Finn's face looks up from the ground and contorts in rage. "You LIED to me? You just... both of you! Lied? How could you?" Quinn replies, incensed "Because she's not yours anymore, Finn! She never was!" Finn turns to you angrily. "Well?? What is it then?!" You pause and bite your lip... "Finn... we lied to you. Okay? But... it wasn't a lie that I was taken." Quinn stifles a gasp and shakes her head no at you vigorously, silently pleading. You acknowledge her begrudgingly and continue on. "But... I can't tell you who it is." Your heart breaks at saying this, and you feel tears start to form in your eyes. "It's really hard, and everyone thinks that I'm sad and alone and I'm really not, I'm happier than I've been in a long time I have someone I truly love and I can't tell even my closest friends about...them." You almost said her. You almost said it. But you just. Couldn't. Do it. "I...I'm in love." Quinn just stares at you... can't she give you just a sign of... anything? Does she love you too? Does she hate you for saying all this? Why is she shutting you out? You then tell everyone that you have to go because you don't want to ruin a good night as tears fall from your eyes and you start to run out. You don't even know where because Quinn was your ride. You live MILES away there's no way you could run. So you just run until your legs get tired. Which... happens to be right next to Quinn's car. She left it unlocked and you sit inside and just... cry. You let it all out. All of the pain from being told that you couldn't tell the world about your love for so long has built up. And it's crushing you. And when you finally open your eyes for a moment, you notice Quinn somehow silently crept into the car. "Hey... you doing okay?" She smiles weakly. You glare at her. "Do I look okay to you? I'm falling apart because I..." you freeze. You don't want to say it again. You already felt ridiculous enough. "You what? Rach tell me..." Quinn holds your face in her hands and forces you to look at her. "I... love you. Quinn. I love you. More than I've ever loved anything in my entire life and that's really saying something. You are my entire heart and I don't know what I'd do without you by my side.", you say exasperated. Quinn looks at you in shock and doesn't know what to say. "Please come to New York with me... when I move for my show? Please come with me, I want to be with you.", you feel yourself pleading. You watch Quinn's eyes glaze over as she puts the car in gear. She's already rebuilding her wall... preparing herself for what you both know is about to happen. You spend the ride in silence, tears pouring from your eyes.

After what seems like an eternity, Quinn puts the car in park and turns to you, almost... cold. "Rach..." she sighs. "I care about you very deeply, and I've felt things with you I've never felt with anyone else but... I don't love you. And I can't come with you... I'm sorry." You see a single tear slip from her almost emotionless eyes as you run towards the dirt to begin packing your things. Before leaving you ask one question that would haunt Quinn for months afterwards. "Why...?" She just stared at you, practically unfeeling. "Dammit, Quinn why?? I KNOW you love me. You don't just act the way you did with me and not love that person I KNOW you so what is it?? Are you really that much of a coward or was I just some fuck to you?" Incensed, you force yourself to leave after saying. "Just know that you broke my heart and I may NEVER forgive you for that... Quinn... I love you..." your voice cracks and becomes a barely audible whisper. And you walk out of your apartment for the last time.

You snap back to the present. You're sitting in Central Park looking at your favorite fountain. You would've brought her here. You pull out your phone and flip through your photos until you find the one she took the two of you cuddling together. You'll never forget that day. You were sick and she had work, but she called in to take care of you. You watched all of your favorite movies and she even made you your favorite soup-Tomato Soup with Ritz Cracker pieces inside. You then get a text from the last person you expected;

Hey... can we talk?


End file.
